help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
