why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Everyone says I win the strip club
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
