@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
