halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
