May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
