I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
