I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
