he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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