oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
