Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I didn't notice because vodka
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
