We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
