You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
