Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
