i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
