my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
