READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
