imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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