Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
