I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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