Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
