i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
