why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
