Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
