i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
