I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
