fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
