Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
