That's intense
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
