your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
