just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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