...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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