i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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