The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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