That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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