i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
