I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
