we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had to cum in my sink.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
