I want to have your abortion
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
