i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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