i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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