Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
