Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
