The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
