Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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