your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
