I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
