the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We need to get me chipped asap
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
