if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
