I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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