Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
