Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
